Archive for September, 2013

I’ll Let You Go…

Blake - ill let you go

After chatting on the phone for 10 minutes or so, Harriet said to Millie, “I’ll let you go…”

Oh, will you?  Will you, Harriet?  Wow, what a lady, granting Millie her freedom like that.  You’re a regular Abe Lincoln, except not at all cuz you’re a dick.  Stop projecting your desire to end the conversation onto poor innocent Millie, you hemorrhoid.

Just admit you’re done with the conversation, Harriet.  It’s okay… Everyone knows you and Millie have moved onto the fluffy part of the conversation at the very end, where small talk has started to dominate your dialogue, since you’ve exhausted any relevant stuff to talk about right now.  I bet Millie is done with this convo too; she’s just not pretending to be some kind of hero for bringing the worn-out conversation to an official close with a proclamation of fake righteousness.

Classic Harriet.


Headphones Knot

Headphones Knot

This happens every time I keep my headphones in my pocket.  Catastrophic.

A headphones knot is different from, say, a massive tangle in the squiggly cord of an old 1990s non-cordless phone.  Now, those phone cord tangles could get pretty disastrous; don’t get me wrong.  But a headphones knot is especially strenuous, as it often happens in public, when you face the challenge of disengaging this audiophonic devil-knot in front of onlookers.  Possibly many onlookers… watching, judging, giggling.  I mean, sure, technically, they could be giggling about ANYTHING, but in the interest of paranoid musings, I’ll assume all these hypothetical onlookers are giggling at me, directly.  Those snide motherfuckers.  The same kind of people who would silently or audibly judge you for doing this.

Anyway, these knots are a pain in the ass.


%d bloggers like this:
Skip to toolbar