Can’t Wait For Three Weeks From Now!!!

I hate wet socks, but they’re inevitable when you’re navigating through these cold and syrupy slush puddles that invariably render useless the curb cuts of New York and other cities worldwide.  The insides of your shoes become gelatinous, and your feet become pruned and clammy.  Your room smells like wet bread when you take off your shoes.  No good.

But alas, you must sometimes ford these rivers.  Seek out pre-existing foot depressions (a.k.a. other people’s footprints), and use the Small Object Toss Test (“SOTT”) as needed, to determine the depth of any particular slush patch.  That questionable Tootsie Roll you took from the dry cleaners will work perfectly.  Beware of positive SOTT results (i.e. the object sinks), as these indicate that we should seek an alternative route.

Do a SOTT, and don’t be afraid to confer with your peers.  If you do a SOTT, tell the next guy you did a SOTT.  There’s no need to perform two SOTTs.  How would you feel if the guy in front of you did a SOTT and just peaced?  Exactly, you’d feel disrespected.

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