“You should’ve gone before we left the house,” said Pamela, as she listened to her son Philip nag about having to go to the bathroom 5 minutes after the two got in the car.
In theory, there has to be a moment when one first realizes that he has to pee. That is, there must be a specific moment in time during which the onset of the “I have to pee” sensation occurs. If that moment happens to be five minutes after Philip and Pamela left the house, it sucks, but that’s just the way it is. Philip didn’t know he had to pee when he was home. Is Pamela trying to insinuate that she is more in tune with her own excretory system than Philip is with his? Because let me tell you, Philip is a man who understands the intricacies of his bladder. Philip cannot make his urethra predict the future. His privates aren’t going to glow orange 30 minutes ahead of time to indicate that his bladder is nearing capacity. That’s just silly.
So next time you’re in the car with a buddy and he has to pee soon after you’ve left, remember the last time you had to pee. And then remember how you felt five minutes prior to that. You didn’t have to pee, did ya? See where I’m going with this?
Special Thanks To Corey Witt for leaving the house with a full bladder so his wife Samantha could take a realistic looking photograph for us.