Previous Posts - “Punctuation” Errors

Okay, I Have A Few Questions About The Specifics…

AA and Chinese videos

For starters, when you say “African-American & Chinese videos,” do you mean both African-American and, separately, Chinese videos are for sale at this establishment or, rather, that you exclusively sell videos that are jointly African-American & Chinese (as is slightly suggested by the choice of ‘&’ in lieu of the word ‘and’)?

As a follow-up question, I’d also like to inquire as to your selection of hybrid African-American/Chinese films.  Please advise.



Overly Complicated Password Composition Requirements

“Your password must include at least one of the following four characters:  upper case letter; lower case letter; number; ‘special character’ that most definitely requires the use of the shift key…”

Who the fuck do you think you are, making these demands?  I don’t care if I impress you, you shitty, annoying automated computer system on a power trip.  No time for your shenanigans right now.  If I want a less complicated password for my account, that’s my problem, right?  If it puts my precious motherfucking password’s security in jeopardy, well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.  Stop interjecting just cuz I won’t alternate upper and lower case letters for my normal go-to password, then add an obligatory ‘123,’ and surround that son of a bitch with percent signs.

Cut me some slack, dude.  Do you know how hard it is to keep thinking of newer, edgier, more bedazzled passwords for the expanding collection of online services that I use on at least a somewhat regular basis?  Explain to me why it’s absolutely essential that I include a dollar sign or exclamation point in my password.  Explain it.  What?  Huh?  I can’t hear you.  Probably because you don’t have a point, and also because I can’t just magically hear any random person I choose, speaking at a distant location.  Don’t be ridiculous.


Guess They Didn’t Check This One


…and also, judgmental of your spelling.


Those Folks Are Some Creative M*#&^r%}~erz

Censorship of profanity used to be a very simple practice – the old “f*ck” single asterisk maneuver was standard practice (see above).  Eventually, though, some “sh*ts”, “b*tches”, and even the occasionally “p*ssy” would pop up here and there.  It was kinda hilarious because, as it turns out, a single sh*tty little asterisk does a horrible job of masking any obvious or lengthy profanities (like, say, c*cksucker).  So somewhere along the way, lots of people rebelled and abandoned the simplicity of the single asterisk, in order to cultivate their own original, homegrown, classic sequences of special punctuation marks to signify the word “fuck.”

For example, Cee Lo Green and Cam’ron revolutionized the course of human history with edgy personal interpretations of censoring the word “fuck” itself…







… while 50 Cent, Xzibit, and Ludacris literally wrote the book on spelling the censored version of “motherfucker,” with each one having his own distinct spelling:






And then, of course, there’s this lady, who didn’t even include a single alphabetical letter in hers.  Talk about a curveball…











Someone Is Gonna Mess This Up And It’s Not Gonna Be Pretty.

Are you serious?  You’re getting into this elevator with only 3 people?  No!!!!  More than 5 people!!  This requires a minimum of 6 people (i.e. more than 5 people).  And using the same metrics as this elevator inspector, that would mean a minimum of 1,250 pounds of human flesh. 


This Could Lead To A “National” Security Breach


Call me old-fashioned, Mr. Security Man, but I think this is one of those times where you want to be very clear about what you mean.  All employees must display their photo ID badges, or all employees “must” display their photo ID badges?  Seems like there’s wiggle room here, with those quotation marks.  I mean I’m new, and even I know that all visitors definitely have to present identification & obtain a destination pass.  This isn’t up for debate.  Not trying to be a “Nitpicky Nancy” here, but unless “Must” is a direct quote from someone important, while the remainder was written by some B-level intern, the quotation marks need to go.

I can’t believe this made it past the editing table.  Someone had to have caught this before it was actually engraved into metal.  Perhaps a rogue signsmith thought it would just be funny to see what happened, security-wise, as a result of this signpost.  Do your other security measures include “not” allowing people to release poisonous snakes into the building?  Or “refraining” from lighting birthday candles in the boiler room?  No one is allowed to “run” around naked.


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