Dammit, Dude, You’re Better Than That…

Not to brag or anything, but I’m a damn good message-leaver.  I’m concise, clear, and to the point… practically an expert in how to leave messages like a damn professional, and I take pride in my abilities.

Yet, I always sound like a dunce when I’m leaving a voicemail for someone, and that person calls me back as I’m in the process of leaving the voicemail.  For some reason, I completely bug out and don’t know what to do, so I wind up fumbling over my words and saying things like, “Just wanted to check in and—wait, this is you calling me back on the other line.  Uh… ummm… I’m uhh… I’m gonna… I guess I’m gonna just pick up your call right now, and I’ll talk to you for real on the phone, so you can just ignore this voicemail.  Okay?  I’m gonna pick up your call now…”

No idea what just happened there.  I spoke perfectly fine English no more than 3 minutes ago, but I guess I got so flustered by your return call that all those English speaking skills I’ve worked on since early childhood went out the window, and I just suddenly became a drooling moron.  Good thing the entire verbal catastrophe was recorded on that person’s freakin’ voicemail…


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