Has Anyone Ever Voluntarily Purchased And Consumed These?

I love nuts.  As a matter of fact, I went to town on a bowl of mixed nuts at a bar the other night.  But I wouldn’t consider eating these peanuts, let alone pay 25¢ for them.  Are you out of your mind?  I love quarters.  I strongly dislike gumball machine peanuts.  This is not a fair deal.  Do you see where I’m going with this?

Now, I would never get the pistachios either, but one could at least make a case for getting them.  They have a thick, intimidating exoskeleton, protecting the rich nutmeat from the hazardous conditions that are the interior plastic walls of a gas station coin-op nut dispenser.  I mean, think about all the fatty nut oils emanating from the nutmeat, contributing to the overall rank, humid conditions in the stale surrounding air.  And you want me to pay 25 cents for these skanky nuts, which then need to pass through the bowel of the machine before they even reach my hand?  I’m just not that interested.


One Response to “Has Anyone Ever Voluntarily Purchased And Consumed These?”

  1. Buzz says:

    “I’m just not that interested”. Love it! Best thing I’ve seen on the website.

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