I Always Lose Them Once It Gets To The Blog

Reading this tweet the morning after I went on a date with this young lady made me so happy.  It showed me just how great I am on dates.  I really only lose it once I give her a true look into what goes on in my mind.  Which I’m fine with.  The bizarre, inner workings of my mind are not for everyone.  This blog really only represents a snapshot—the tip if the iceberg, if you will—of the truly outlandish stuff that goes on upstairs.   Do you guys even realize how ridiculous I am?  Let’s see, off the top of my head…

  1. Years before Subway restaurants started offering guacamole on sandwiches, I would bring my own avocado to the restaurant, ask for a knife when I paid for my sandwich, and I would cut the thing up and spread it onto my sandwich once I sat down at my table.
  2. I saw bulls’ penis offered on a restaurant menu and ordered and consumed said bovine genitalia.
  3. I used to do standup comedy, and one of my jokes ended with me tearing my clothes off and doing the running man on stage wearing only these American Apparel briefs.

And these are just a few of the tamer absurdities things that I felt like sharing with the entire world (remember, our blog is accessible from all nations, e.g. Kuwait, Bosnia, Portugal, etc).  I’m certainly not for the faint of heart, and for that reason I show women WIR on the first date, second date latest.  If they can’t handle the blog, they won’t be able to handle the fact that I own a t-shirt that says “Bring Back Hairy Pussies” (although, I’m not saying I actually agree with that).  So what can we take away from all this?  That up until that very moment when I decide to give my date a glimpse into the deranged nature of my mind, I come across as a totally normal, reasonable dude.  And for that, I am grateful.

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