This Is Exactly What I Didn’t Want To Happen

Well, this is most unfortunate. I clearly won’t be able to take down this entire movie-theater-sized bag of candy in one sitting, but this shoddy tear is gonna make it challenging to preserve the uneaten gummies. I really don’t know how I tore such an incongruous pattern. If this were a game of Tetris, I would be seeking out a piece shaped like an upside-down Idaho.

I’m pondering what the best course of action is in this situation. Clearly these need to be stored in a tightly sealed environment, or else they will dry out for sure. I hate stale gummies because they have a texture akin to that of mealy polenta. The “Bag Roll-down Maneuver” is out of the question. Looks like I’ll just have to eat them all now, and going forward, I’ll aim to get better at rip jobs.

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