I Knew Those Pilates Classes Would Come In Handy Someday

I know exactly what you’re thinking, and you are correct.  Yes, when I’m down there in the squatting position, the denim covering my male under-barrel is taut like Kevlar.  But this is a serious situation. What, like you’ve never bootydanced in order to break in a freshly-laundered pair of dungarees?  Let’s be real here, I need to stretch these bad boys out.  Make room for the old under-barrel.  I’m going out later and do not want to end up looking like this guy when the bill comes.

So instead, I’m just gonna do this in the privacy of my own home, because these pants are tight as fuck, and I want me some well-ventilated thighs.


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