I Tripped And Fell In The Mud. Maybe You Should Clean Me Up With Dish Water.

 

No, I agree.  That makes perfect sense.  Someone spilled a drink, so the best course of action is clearly to use this mop to evenly distribute the spill over a wider radius, while at the same time, applying a thin layer of this murky, psmatiste-like fluid atop the beverage.  I mean, let’s be honest here, who the heck needs Lysol when you can just mask the odor of whatever it is you spilled with the aroma of an opaque green-gray chowder, chock full of dissolved algae, sand and other matter?

Seriously though, the concept of a mop baffles me.  Think about it.  A mop does not work if it’s dry.  If I spill something, I can’t use a dry mop to clean it up—it won’t absorb anything.  If I want to be successful, I need to first dip the mop into that bucket of ominous broth, ring it out using that vice-like contraption, and then drag the mop through the spill, thereby applying the aforementioned veneer of doodie-water atop the rogue spillage.  How is this any better than just letting the spilled liquid dry in peace?  If you let the drink dry on its own, at least you know what you’re dealing with (i.e. one liquid pathogen).  Once you add this cloudy elixir to the equation, you are introducing a cocktail that likely includes month-old lemonade, wax, and curdled milk.  Please tell me how that is “enhancing overall cleanliness”.  Correct – it is not.

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Special Thanks To Craig Cohen for distracting a custodian for long enough to take a picture of his mop.

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