Just Keep Placing One Foot In Front Of The Other…


I don’t get it.  This girl was fine a few blocks back.  She was walking at a totally normal pace, and therefore I was also able to maintain an acceptable walking speed.  But she just met up with her shitty boyfriend with the prominent John Travolta butt-chin, and now they’re barely moving.

Riddle me this… Why is it that a man and woman, both normally of reasonable walking speed, will slow their pace when walking together as a couple?   They hold hands and saunter. They babble about who brought the best appetizer to last night’s potluck dinner.  They graze genitals.  What the hell?  All these things can be done while still maintaining the walking speed they had before they met up.

I get why they’d want to walk side by side, obviously.  But do they have to place their mediocre selves right in the middle of the sidewalk?  Now I don’t have room to execute a traditional lateral sidewalk pass, so I have to creepily linger like four feet behind them, waiting for my opportunity to break free.  I need some frozen yogurt, and these chumps are acting like Pinkberry doesn’t close soon.

But it does close soon.


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