Maybe It’s Time To Invest In A Nightlight

“I’m obviously not turning on the light,” thought Sebastian.  “I was just abruptly woken from a deep stage of REM sleep, and now is not the time to subject my eyeballs to fluorescent bathroom lighting.”

Ohhhh boy.

That’s not the sound I’m looking for.  My aim is off.  I was looking for that rich, crackling sound that urine makes when it initiates contact with toilet water.  Instead, I hear the dull pitter-patter of fluid striking a solid surface.  Do I go left, right, forward or back…? Ok, that clearly wasn’t right because now it just sounds like I’m urinating into a plastic bag.  I am definitely pissing in the garbage.  That means… left!  GO LEFT!  THERE SHE IS! Liquid hitting liquid!  Ahhhhhhh.

Damnit!  Now I have to turn the lights on anyway to clean up a puddle of urine…   and then wash my hands!   I might as well turn on the coffee pot because my night is clearly over.


Special Thanks To Jon Salik for making on the floor.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this:
Skip to toolbar