Maybe We Should Just Go Back To The Conventional, Trigger-Style Flushing System

“Really?  Again?  Come on now.  I have to take a shit.  How many more times can I put down a toilet seat cover, only to watch it get swallowed before I can even pull down my undies?” thought Carlos as he witnessed another failed attempt at protecting his heinie from the evils lurking on the toilet seat.

Maybe this restaurant should consider reducing the sensitivity of its automatic flush sensor.  All Carlos is doing is bending his knees ever so slightly to apply the seat cover.  He’s barely leaning forward, and he’s not even going anywhere near the sensor.  How can this stupid sensor confuse a human being barely leaning forward with a person sitting down for 5-7 minutes with their back six inches from the sensor?

I’m not sure what poor Carlos should be doing here to avoid this problem.  Should he drop the seat cover on the toilet from above and hope it happens to land evenly on the seat?  Is he supposed to hold the seat cover flush against his tush with his butthole poking through the center, and sit down while maintaining a firm grasp on the seat cover throughout the process so as to maximize the chances of proper toilet seat alignment?   Or maybe he should just suck it up and ditch the seat cover, because as we now know, they really are pointless.

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