Occupational Hazard: China

Coagulated egg white suspended in an eggy yellow chowder.  I’m just gonna repeat that more slowly for effect: Eggy. Yellow. Chowder.

Egg drop soup stands its ground.  Go ahead, try peeling the globular solid from your shirt.  You may be able to pick off that big guy in the middle, but the smaller morsels are gonna linger, leaving trace bits.  Trace eggy bits.  So what do you do?  You brush them on the floor.  Then what happens?  A toy poodle eats the bits and gets salmonella poisoning.  Then the poodle runs around your apartment, uncontrollably leaking, ya know, doodie all over your shoes, laptop, and expensive alpaca rug.  All because you insisted on having Chinese for dinner.  Next time, do yourself a favor and toss the shirt.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but fuck off, it could happen.


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