Pick A Water-Based Lubricant, Any Water-Based Lubricant


Okay, what genius decided to keep the various convenience store sex items behind the cashier counter, right next to the cigarettes and batteries, instead of subtly inside a regular aisle?  Sure, I’d imagine this setup prevents lube theft… but it also prevents all purchases in general, because no customer wants to announce to the other 8 people in line that she’d like 3 jumbo packs of KY Liquibeads Vaginal Moisturizer.

And I don’t blame her.  I mean, I get embarrassed just trying to buy wipes for my tooshie at the local convenience store.  I usually try to hide them from view while stealthily making my way to the cashier.  Sometimes, if the situation calls for it, I even grab a box of cereal that I never intend to buy, simply to shield the container of moist butt towelettes cradled under my inner arm.  So there’s absolutely no chance I’m getting to the front of the line and announcing my immediate need for a Trojan Vibrating Cock Ring to a group of strangers.  If absolutely necessary, I guess I could try to casually slip it in between other, more normal items.  “Oh, I’m fine, thanks.  How are you?  Great.  Yes, I need a pack of Camel Lights, a package of Gillette Mach 3 Turbo razor cartridges, and one Trojan Vibrating Cock Ring, please.”

I’d also like to point out that there appear to be multiple variations of the Trojan Vibrating Cock Ring on that top shelf, so it’s gotta be hilarious when a customer needs to specify to the cashier which subcategory of Trojan Vibrating Cock Rings he wants.  Does he want the double-sided one?  Does he want the one with 4 different vibration speeds?  I don’t know because I’m not him, but even if I were him, I wouldn’t discuss it with the cashier in front of a line of people.


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