The FDA: A Brief History

“You eat mayonnaise, and you also eat… Pepto Bismol,” said the Speaker of the House, as he prepared the House of Representatives for his groundbreaking announcement.  “Think about it.  You smoke crack… and you also smoke salmon.  You shoot heroin, but you also shoot cattle, which are ground up to make hamburger patties.   Are you following me?  Do you see where I’m going with this?”  He sensed his audience was confused.  “So we’re gonna save money and combine some administrations!  Today, I announce the formation of the Food and Drug Administration!  Think about it!  One administration for avocados and ecstasy!  Corn and Cialis under one roof!”  There was a brief pause, followed by an eruption of applause.  “Now does anyone else have any ideas for seemingly unrelated items that should be combined?”

“Yes!” shouted an eager representative.  “Cigarettes and booze. And guns too!  Guns, cigarettes and booze!”

“Love it!” replied the Speaker.  “But I don’t think it should be an administration.  Let’s call it the BUREAU of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.”

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