The Women’s Restroom Conundrum

“Well, this is certainly a dilemma,” thought Julian, as he stood alone in the single-occupancy women’s restroom and heard a knock at the door.  When he saw the men’s room occupied and the women’s room available, he didn’t see a problem quickly using the women’s room.  After all, it was a single person restroom.  That knock, however, changed everything.

See, Julian is a very considerate guy.  Sure, he was using the women’s restroom, but he was very respectful of their space.  As his mother always taught him, lift the seat before your stream, and put it down or else it’s mean.  Julian did just that, lowering the seat to its original position post-urination, but now, the knock complicates things.  Julian already responded to the knock with a simple “Just a minute…” so the female knocker already knows that she’s waiting, undeservedly, for a man.  Now, Julian has a decision to make:

1. If he leaves the seat upright and erect, the woman is going to enter and think Julian is an asshole.  I mean, she has every right to think that.  First, he illegally uses the woman’s room.  Then, he doesn’t even have the decency to lower the seat.  Julian = asshole.

2. If he leaves the seat lowered, as he had always been taught to do, he also runs the risk of being perceived as a jerk.  There is a very good chance that the woman enters the restroom, sees the seat is down, and then assumes that Julian never lifted the seat to begin with.  Clearly she already sees Julian in a negative light… after all, his impatience resulted in her waiting an extra 48 seconds before being able to empty her bladder and/or large intestine.  Now, she walks in, only to see the seat down.  In her mind, it’s obvious that Julian the Jerk never lifted the seat to begin with.  Clearly, he tried to aim his stream through the center of the seat, and surely he must have sprinkled a few drops at the very least.  Even if there are no large visible droplets, there must at least be a bit of tertiary mist on the seat.  Julian = asshole.

So what to do?  How about just waiting patiently until the men’s room frees up.  Otherwise, you’re liable to be hated by every woman at the bar.


One Response to “The Women’s Restroom Conundrum”

  1. K says:

    Gotta go with the “I even lowered the seat for you” on your way out….

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