Wish I Had Gone With Plain Black Boots Today…

Alright, I’ve finished constructing the usual pointless public restroom toilet paper “barrier,” and now it’s time to get down to business.  The difficult part is over.  Really not much more for me to do; the body just kinda takes over at this point.  You know how that goes, ladies and gentlemen.

But wait!  Two people just entered the bathroom.  Noooooo!  I’d rather be alone for the initial, potentially loud phase of the removal process.  Guess I’ll just hold it for a minute and wait till they leave.  Don’t wanna make a scene, ya know?  I have to see these people everyday.

Ya know what?  Screw it.  These guys are taking too long.  I’ll just throw caution to the wind and deploy the vessel.  I mean, the other bathroom occupants don’t know who’s in this stall, so it’s safe to proceed with this atrocity, right?  They’ll have no idea who did this to them.  I almost feel bad, but not really.  Aaaaaaand… NOW!  Hahahaha, suckers… take that.

Oh, crap… my blue sneakers with yellow laces are not very stealthy.  I could easily be recognized later on!  Should I torch the shoes to get rid of the evidence?  Probably gonna be paranoid about this for a while.  Terrific.


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