Words I Realized: Blarge


blarge [blahrj], n, plural blarge – the immensely relieving onslaught of flatulence emitted after a period of several uncomfortable hours, during which one could not release said flatulence

You can’t just openly rip one in the middle of a staff meeting or a religious service or a small-group seminar for one of your classes.  Gotta clench down there until you can get some privacy, preferably outdoors and at least 100 feet away from any other person, as a precautionary measure for noisy blarge.  This blarge doesn’t necessarily smell bad, and it doesn’t absolutely have to be loud, although let’s be honest, ladies – it often is.  Anyway, what’s most remarkable about blarge is the sheer volume of gas expelled during each individual bout of it.  You can actually feel your abdomen deflating.  It’s pretty amazing, like a miracle of modern science or something.  Fart science.  Booya, son!  I just invented fart science.

The morning after a night of passionate intercourse, Roger waited anxiously for Phyllis to leave his apartment.  Once his front door closed and the dust had settled, Roger let loose thunderous blarge that woke up his roommate. 

Wait, blarge?? I don’t get it… Can you explain?


Special Thanks To Rebecca Perlmutter for thinking of a word that sounds disgusting enough to work for this.

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