Words I Realized: Jeller

jeller [jel-er], n a single-person seat on a couch spanning two cushions, creating a distinctive crack down the center of the seating unit

One thing’s for damn sure – I will definitely be testing the firmness of the central crack of this jeller before diving right in.  Just gonna take my time and ease calmly into my final seated position, so as to properly navigate the challenging contour of this seating area. Some couches have really firm and uncomfortable inter-cushion cracks, so I’ve got some major decisions to make, primarily regarding how closely I plan to align my anatomical buttcrack with the seat’s built-in, structural buttcrack.  Do I straddle this thing head-on, centering myself equally between the two cushions, with my butt cheeks distributed evenly among the two cushions?  Instinct says yes.  My butt is now a big, beautiful, sweaty isthmus, bridging the two sides of this couch together.  One butt caught between two cushions; one man caught between two worlds.  Am I making any sense?

Montgomery, having four testicles, actually prefers the jeller to a traditional single-cushion couch seat, because the central crack allows room for his extra testicles.  It’s simple physics.

Wait, jeller?? I don’t get it… Can you explain?



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