Words I Realized: Plignometry

plignometry [plig-nom-i-tree], n – the art of balancing a square-bottomed food container in a plastic to-go bag

It doesn’t seem to matter how old I get or how much experience I have with carrying home one of these.  I still suck.  Notice the diagonal orientation of the tray bottom.  Sloppy… just plain sloppy.  It’s like I’m asking for the marinara sauce to pool up on one side of the tray.  Sure, the restaurant could’ve provided one of those luxury to-go bags with a structured rectangular bottom, but I still blame myself, because I’ve known about gravity for a really long time.  Did I spend enough time practicing my plignometry?  Obviously not.

Rather than simply hold the food tray by placing the palm of his hand flat against the tray bottom, Francis held the plastic bag by its handles, in order to show off his plignometric skills.

Wait, plignometry?? I don’t get it… Can you explain?


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