Yeah, I’ll Be Sure To Deliver That Verbatim

Ever had a phone conversation?  Me too.  I’m guessing we’ve all probably encountered the following scenario on a somewhat regular basis:

Me:  “Alright, well thanks for calling and letting me know.”

Person on Phone with Me:  “No problem at all.  See you soon.  And please tell Suzie I say hi.”

Me:  “Sure thing…”


… NOT!  Oooooo, you got BURNED, son.

Seriously, though, “hi” is the best you could come up with?  I’m embarrassed for you and, accordingly, will not be relaying that particular message to Suzie.  Why, you ask?  Because your lazy, shitty “hi” is not gonna affect her life even a little bit, in any way.  Tell you what – since I like you, I’ll tell Suzie you said something way more interesting than “hi.”  Suzie will be happier this way as well, because receiving a second-hand “hi” is just as awkward as having to be the middleman who delivers this unnecessary message on behalf of whichever genius came up with that inspiring prose in the first place.

Sorry to harp on this, but I’m still not over it.  Consider the following message:  “Tell that skank Suzie I can’t pick her up from the airport because I found out she’s been secretly banging my brother, so why doesn’t she just call him if he’s such a fucking stud?”  See, now THAT is an example of a message that’s actually worth relaying.


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