Yes, I Happen To Be Taller Than The Bathroom Stall. What Do You Want From Me?

To our shorter friends, it might seem like being tall is all smiles… seeing over people’s heads at concerts, touching ceilings just cause you felt like it, etc.  Well, I’m about to rock your world, soul brother.  In the world of public restrooms, shorter people reign supreme.

I’d love to be able to enter a stall and have free reign to do as I please anonymously, as my shorter brethren do.  But alas, this is not the case.  Right from the moment I enter the stall, it’s like I’m on stage, for all the urinators and hand washers to see.  And I can’t even enjoy an unabashed stand-up wipe.  Seriously.  I’d immediately be branded a stand-up wiper for the rest of my days.  I may even miss out on a raise or promotion.  I mean, could you really take a stand-up wiper seriously?

Unfortunately, the options are rather limited: I can do the more traditional sitting wipe, but that’s just crazy… or I can own it and boldly deliver a stand-up wipe.  And if I happen to end up making eye contact with my boss or my rabbi, life goes on.  Nothing to see here – just a tall guy, fearlessly executing a stand-up wipe.  A stand-up wipe for a stand-up guy.  Or girl.


2 Responses to “Yes, I Happen To Be Taller Than The Bathroom Stall. What Do You Want From Me?”

  1. rafi says:

    What about a bending-over-stand-up-wipe? I hear those are really in these days…

  2. Becka says:

    At least your feet don’t dangle in the air when you sit on the toilet seat…

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